The Problem With Being Good at Things

There is a strange trap that comes with being good at things.

You get good grades, so you become the smart one.

You do well at work, so you become the ambitious one.

You are good at solving problems, so people keep giving you problems to solve.

And because being good at something feels good, you keep choosing things you know you can win at.

Until you realise you might be building a life around your abilities rather than your wants.

When competence becomes an identity

There is a quiet difference between “I want this” and “I know I can do this.”

But when you are used to being capable, it is easy to confuse the two.

You choose the job you know you will excel at.

The goals you know how to achieve.

The things that make sense on paper.

Not necessarily because you love them, but because you already know how to be good at them.

And being bad at something?

That can feel almost unbearable.

There are things you might want that you won't immediately be good at.

You might paint badly.

Write badly.

Dance badly.

Start something and have absolutely no idea what you're doing.

And maybe that's okay.

Not everything has to become a skill.

Not every skill has to become an achievement.

Not every achievement has to prove something about you.

Maybe some things are worth doing simply because they make you curious.

Because you enjoy them.

Because nobody is watching.

And perhaps figuring out what you want requires getting comfortable with being a beginner again.

You don't have to stop being good at things.

You just have to make sure your life isn't made entirely of things you're good at.